A heavy heart

Found out yesterday that a neighbor lost her baby at 19 weeks.  Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers... having been in her shoes 3 1/2 years ago there is nothing that anyone can do or say that can dull the pain - really only lifting them up to God is all you can do. 

Our little angel Korbin would have been 3 at the beginning of this month.  It's something that you learn to cope with and do eventually move on, but you never ever forget.  (around the time we lost Korbin there were stories from women all around me coming out about when they lost their babies and even 30+ years later when they talked to me they still had tears in their eyes)  I know they will be okay, I know they will make it through, just as we have.  Hopefully eventually they will have their own little "Kason" to brighten their days.  But for now, things look pretty grim and it is so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Because it is so hard to know what to say when you know someone going through this, perhaps as being someone who has been through it (numerous times...) I can help.  If you know them or anyone else who is going through this...
  my advice is to just be there to listen.  Don't tell them that "you can have other children" or "well, at least you get pregnant easily" because no other child can replace the one they lost.  Bring meals (because some days it's all she will be able to do to get out of bed), send cards letting them know you are thinking and praying for them, talk about their lost little ones (because the thought of being the only one who "remembers" is heartbreaking).  It's okay.  Don't expect them to "get over it" it's something HUGE.  A major life changing event.  They will never get to know that little one, never get to rock them to sleep, watch their first basketball game or even stress over watching them go out on their first date.  If you are close to them and can remember, let them know you remember when that due date or anniversary of their loss comes around.  Especially that first one is going to be a tough one.

Most are blessed to get pregnant and get to raise each and every baby God blessed them with.  Others, unfortunately never know if the baby they are carrying will be coming home with them at the end of 9 months.  Then you have those like myself and my wonderful sis in law Jody that have more babies in heaven than we do here with us.  No one should have to hold their lifeless baby in their arms and it breaks my heart to think that in a few days, my neighbors are going to have to do just that.  Korbin was only here with us for a short time, but she did not come in vain.  She has given me the desire to make sure I help anyone I can who is dealing with this awful fate.  If you know someone who has gone through this and you aren't sure what to say to them.  Please don't hesitate to e-mail me, or give me their e-mail.  I will happily talk to them and help them through.

Some people dream of angels, we held one in our arms.